My heart part 2

Kenneth age 2




Kenneth died. I can still remember holding him in my arms last April...only two but the size of a nine month old. So tiny, but I though to myself what a strong little boy. But like so many children in Liberia he got Malaria even with all the precautions like mosquito nets, healthy diet, solid home to live and medical care.

But with cerbral palsy, his little lungs were to weak to fight off the Malaria and he got pneumonia.

As my children joined together for prayer tonight they prayed "Jesus, I hope
you are having lots of fun with Martina, Kenneth and Varney." "Thank you Lord that they are with your safe and never feeling any pain again." Because they believed, just in faith that being in the arms of Jesus had to be better than anything
this earth had to offer.

Oh Lord thank you for children's hearts. For allowing me to see through their eyes, and not my own.....

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
(Matthew 18:2-6 ESV)

What is in my heart Part 1

Sweet adorable Martina




A week ago three children in Liberia died. Two in the Forget-Me-Not children's program and one in the medical outreach program. It was heartbreaking, painful and I am still questioning why. By the worlds standards I know why, it is because medical care in
Liberia is inadequate. Children without special needs die every day, but have
cerbral palsy and get sick....

We are not even sure why Martina died she just died in her sleep.

I have heard many people tell me how much better the kids are in the arms of Jesus,
now without pain and sorrow.... but I first imagined them
in the arms of "adoptive parents." I first imagined them in the U.S. with really
great medical treatment loved and lavished in a home that adored them, but the Lord
had other plans.

I remember when I used to dream of adopting a child from another country. I would
watch all the ads on the T.V. about starving children and want to help them. I wondered how I could help with SO many needing assistance.

But now this is REAL. I have been to Liberia Africa, held these children in my arms,
advocated for them, prayed for them. This is PERSONAL.

FAITH

Heb 11:1 (NIV) Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

It is the process of going through the trials that make us stronger?

He will never leave us or forsake us

I got new pictures of Varney in the mail today. Maybe it is just me but he looks
incredibly beautiful. Even with his really large head he looks good and all the
sores he had on his head are gone. How could those sores, pressure sores from
laying on that huge head all the time be gone.....Jesus. The minute I opened
the pictures I cried and in my heart and my spirit I could see the face of God
illuminating through that little boy.
Once again we might of found hope for Varney and his mom. I joined a yahoo
group with a passionate group of women for Christ and met someone who wanted
to help me find help for him. Another someone who doesn't believe that he is
a hopeless cause, yep she knows the same Jesus I know. You know the guy who
laid hands on the lepers, blind, crippled and demon possessed? Even dead
people were not in the hopeless stage, a few of them were raised up also.

13:8 it states Jesus is the same today, yesterday, and forever!

So we have a hospital and Doctor in Ghana willing to see him and do the treatment necessary but we are waiting on the full cost. Then we will have to obtain a birth
certificate and a passport and a ticket for his mom and him. And none of this is easy but WITH CHRIST all things are possible.

I am so thankful I don't have to do this by myself. I find myself constantly going to the faith station for a fill up. Getting down on my knees, locking the bathroom (even with kids pounding on the door)and saying "It's me again God I so need your help,
direction and I need that faith you promised." And you know that enemy God, he is
being a real pain in the butt!! Send a couple of real strong angels to kick his butt! Because every ounce of Glory is going straight to you when Varney is well.

So PLEASE PRAY if you read this blog that we can get all of the things this little
boy needs lined up for him to go to Ghana to get medical help. And then Pray we can raise the money he need also.

Thank you Lord....

Another Amazing Person

The Professor giving a speech thanking Global for starting a fund to build wheel
chair ramps.

Professor Flomo teaching people about the Caustic Program.

During my trip to Africa in April we visited an amazing man and his family. I was told
that Global was raising money for a college in Liberia that needed wheel chair ramps, but being my focus is mainly on Forget-Me-Not children, I wasn't prepared for what blessings would come from that donation.

We had to drive three hours to a college campus. Once we arrived we were driven to several on campus homes to see if any would accommodate myself and my four other companions. After we settled in we were invited to Professor Flomos home for dinner.
I felt like honored royalty at his home. All of his family, wife and children, served us something to drink and carried all of their living room furniture outdoors
so we could sit in the open air. No one in Liberia has air conditioning and the only electricity is generators which, few can afford.

A goat was slaughtered for our dinner earlier, meat being a rare treat in Liberia and we were served a delicious meal with rice.

Shortly after the meal the Professor started telling us his life story and we all stayed on the end of seats in anticipation of everything he was telling us.
At age ten he was taken to the Dr. for a boil on his head. They gave him a shot
in the hip and from that time on he could not walk. The shot paralyzed his legs.

Now in America this would be a tragedy, in Liberia it was devastation.

But the Professor, with an amazingly determined spirit insisted he still needed to
go to school. So after bugging his father over and over he allowed him to go.
There were no wheelchairs or cars to drive him so he had to crawl. He would have
to take an extra pair of pants with him because he would be covered in dirt when
he got there.

Now when he told us this I just had to breath a huge breath of air out and ponder
how ANYONE could have that kind of drive. He wasn't just driven to go through
high school but continued on to college.

Oh and that is just his scholastic story. The one that touched my heart to tears was
his falling in love with the woman he was determined to marry. He told us from
the minute he layed eyes on his wife he knew he would marry her... but things
were just not that easy for a man in a wheel chair.

You see Liberians see a disability as a curse. The father of this woman also believed
that he could never take care of his daughter and he refused the request of marriage.
No way was Professor taking that for an final answer. Now come on, the man had crawled to school.... he could get her dad to change his mind. So he continued
to ask and God opened up the perfect circumstance for the Dad to finally agree.

And as he finished telling us this story he called his wife over, sat her in front of
him, leaned over to her and said "and I still love this woman today." Ok, I am crying now and so sure I had just heard one of the most beautiful love stories ever
told.

That wasn't the only person he was absolutely and totally in love with. He proceeded to tell us about his love for Christ. How he had walked with him all his life and that he believed, with all his heart, if he followed his commands he would be blessed.. and you know what, he is.

And those blessing fall over to us and our program. The professor is on Global Orphan's board of directors in Liberia. Also the little brother he raised, who loves Christ with that same passion is our nurse for our program. Now who else could bring
us a CHRISTIAN nurse, raised by a handicapped brother, who was driven and still
is to overcome his disability and help others overcome theres, but Jesus?

This year the college opened there doors to 11 special needs students... unheard of
in Liberia Africa. Without special equipment, special teachers or even knowing how they would afford it, but stepping out in faith with the professors help.

So this loving, humble, amazing man's car breaks down, his only means of transportation. And he has asked for our help. The car will take 2000
dollars to fix, a million dollars in Liberia.

So again I cry out to God to send people willing to donate to someone they don't
even know.... in faith. Because it doesn't matter that he is in Africa, France
or China, he is our brother in Christ and he needs help.

My god promises to supply all our needs.

So I wait in faith......


My Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) and the earth is His and the fullness thereof (Psalm 50:12).


But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 KJV)

MIRACLES ARE STILL HAPPENING

Korpu laughing and playing.

Korpu when she came into our program with failure to thrive.

Abigail 2 1/2 months later. Notice those chubby cheeks!



Abigail when she started in our outreach program



Kenneth now standing against the wall.


Kenneth when he came into the forget me not program

I have to be so careful to notice EVERY little miracle that God sends my way.
Some are huge and obvious like Kenneth and Abigail and others are slow... miracles
that happen one step at a time.

Abigail had gained 4 lbs and is crawling! Now for a four year old that might not seem like a miracle... but when I held her in Liberia last April, she could barley
hold up her head, seemed unaware of where she was and didn't care who held her.

Kenneth, small adorable Kenneth is standing against the wall. How is that even possible? Tiny and fragile he just seemed like a small infant in my arms just a few months ago.

Luke 4:18 (New International Version)

18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,

And let's not forget Korpu. She came to us with failure to thrive... dying slowly, and now she not only lives but is HAPPY.

Personal miracles abound also....

My son Joe was stung by a bee and we found out he was allergic. I gave him benadryl right away but the swelling continued and he broke out in an awful rash and had numbness and pain. Being a nurse I knew full well what COULD happen if I couldn't get him to a hospital fast enough. So I jumped in the van and headed to the nearest hospital twenty minutes away. Now I would like to say I was in full control but when it comes to my kids I am one lousy nurse. So I drove and prayed..... knowing that everything that happens is in the hands of my God. And as I have read this week in Luke.. the spirit of God was on me. His presence filled my heart and my soul with his peace and Joe continued to breath.

Was this a miracle? I would say so. How many times has God intervened and I didnt' even know it? I am not sure, but I will Praise him for the mircles I can see and the ones I can't.

Our pastor has given us a challenge to read the bible in a year and handed out an outline on how to accomplish this. At first I was hesitant. I read my bible most days, feel I am pretty familiar with the word do I really want to take this on? Well I did and I was terribly wrong. Already I am amazed at what Jesus is teaching me.


Luke 9:23 (New International Version)

23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me

So Lord, I am going to look for miracles every day and even if I don't SEE one I will
know that they are still there, both in Liberia and here at home.

And if I forget to tell you Lord.... Thanks for all you do.

My kids amaze me

Julie letting he balloon go.


Auralliea letting her balloon go.



Dani letting her balloon go.


Mary letting her balloon go.


Today the kids bought some balloons.

We watched a movie Sarah's Choice, about a girl who had to make a decision
on whether to keep her unborn child. During her wrestling stage she talked
to her friend who confessed to having a abortion. The friend tried to pretend
that having the abortion was the best thing she ever did, but as the movie
went on, she confessed the pain that still tore at her soul.

After Sarah surrendered her life back to Christ she led her friend
to Christ also. She encouraged her to send a balloon with a message to her
baby in heaven.

So, my girls decided that they were going to send a message to Jesus too.

Destiny said, I am sending this to you Jesus because you loved us and died
on the cross.

Aurallia said, Jesus can I have a horse? (well this was a wishing balloon)

Dani said, Jesus I am sending you a note to say "Thank You"

Julie said, Jesus I hope you take good care of the baby rabbits (someone stole
four of our 10 day old rabbits)

Omar said, Jesus I hope you take this balloon as a gift.

Moyou said, It's a secret shhhhhhh.

Mary said, I hope the Africa kids will get better. (she is from Africa) I love you.

So they all took them outside to release them and guess what? They would not fly up but flew sideways..... everyone was chasing and screaming.

I could just imagine Jesus laughing and so touched by the heart of his
precious children.

Have I thanked you recently for these children Lord?





Psalm 127:3-5a
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Melvin


Christina and I taking time out to worship.... food for our soul!


Monjue loves the work she does for the Lord. We need a sponsor for her to
continue to see the kids at $40.00 a month.




Monjue our deaf teacher and one of her students. She is holding Melvin.




Kari putting Varney on the scale. His precious mother right there.



Weighing and measuring Varney












After being in Africa for several days and seeing so much pain and suffering I just felt overwhelmed. I came to Liberia focused. and sure that God only had one purpose, for me to help with the special needs children we had in foster care... but oh how my focus became cloudy after I witnessed the overwhelming need.


Could you be calling me to other ministries Lord? Or am I just feeling the pain of so many....



I know from being involved in other ministries that I always felt drawn to the medically needy, the children who desperately needed help but could not get it in a third world country. Like Varney, who only needed a shunt to drain the fluid from his head but could not find a surgeon to do it. Being a nurse for years in the U.S. I felt maybe I had something to offer.



So I took Varney's information and forwarded it back to the States to a neurosurgeon He proceeded to tell me Varney would never make the flight to the United States.

The intense pain I felt when I heard the news.... I just cried.



Being a Christian I knew I had to accept that God was in control, that he loved Varney far more than I did, that he knew ALL things and I did not, but I questioned. Please God, he is just a baby in pain, heal him or bring him healing through a doctors hand.... but I heard nothing.

I so longed for peace.

The next day we all walked across the street to a Foursquare church. The church was hot and only cooled by two large fans. Slowly the people filled the church for "Sunday school" which was only a one hour part of the four hour church session. Now us USA Christians thought at first that this was just a was going to be a really long service, but I was feeling desperate.

You know maybe they are too.....

Because in the U.S. we enter our really nice air conditioned churches, in our really nice clothes, after eating a really nice breakfast and we have very little worry about staying alive.

Staying alive is a daily chore there.


Maybe we all should enter church "desperate" for Christ? Not starving desperate, but desperate for
the touch of God on our lives. Desperate to have him give us power to reach the lost who may even be in our own family. But sadly we don't.



Once worship started I felt home because the spirit of God is universal. We all moved to the front of the church and I was surrounded by brothers and sisters.... I felt the move of God and my spirit began to heal and hope flooded my soul. Yes, God was in control and he would direct my path.

Testimonies
were given and preaching began and to my amazement someone was signing to the congregation.



Now in America we see this all the time, but in desperation, where handicaps are considered a curse, I was shocked. And all of the women in my group from the U. S. looked at each other with joy.


See we have a little boy in our program named Melvin who is deaf. Just to look at this little guy is enough to break you heart. Sucking his little fingers so full of sadness, you can just feel the pain in his anguished heart. We had been wondering how we could help him, how could we ever find someone to sign with him?


Yep, God had an answer.

So after church we talked to this wonderful woman who runs a deaf ministry. She takes in deaf children and has recruited people in her church to foster them. Now she is PASSIONATE about this ministry and Jesus and lets you know it right fromthe start. Because of that meeting we were able to set up for her to go out and teach signing to Melvin, our nurse and the caregivers.

So thank you Jesus for hearing my cry for help, for loving these babies and for
healing my downcast soul.

It all just happens in your timing not mine.

Proverbs 3:5 (NASB)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding