A typical shopping day

For several days the weather has been so bad that we couldn't hop in our bus and drive to town.
Simple things like needing milk, is not so simple when you have 18 kids and your husband is out
of town.
With the roads being icy I just didn't want to chance driving our bus to town so we stayed put, but oh how I needed to get out! I spend a few days just feeling claustrophobic in my own home.
I was irritable and grouchy, and just feeling like lousy mother of the year. I could rationalize that

I knew it would pass .... but I still hated being in that place.
So today I loaded up the bus and took off to town. Now Saturday is not the best time to go shopping with 18 kids... but I was feeling little desperate.
First we stopped at the day old breadstore. We got a HUGE bucket of all kinds of bread for forty dollars. We formed a assembly line and loaded it in the bus. Thekids were real excited with all the donuts.

Our next stop was Sams club. We have a system. Everyone has a partner they are responsiblefor, they all stay behind me and the basket, and everyone had to stay to one side of the isle.

It all went perfectly, so we all sat down for a hot dog. I dread ordering food for our group. Never fails whoever is waiting on us gives me that look like "what could you possibly want with 19 hot dogs", but I push forward and try to ignore them. Many times at McDonalds or Taco Bell the say "could you please call first?"

My kids were picture perfect . They all sat down and patiently waited for there food. When they got there drinks they knew they had to go in fours and waited for their table to be called. They were quiet (praise God) and polite. I kept running back and for the to get napkins, relish, and check to see if the hot dogs were ready.

One woman approached me and said "Where are you from?" I knew
from experience what she was asking, and I said we lived in Abilene and these were my adopted children. I know now to cut to the chase and just let them know we are an adoptive family. With so many the same age, multiracial, I think they know already. She said "You have amazingly well behaved children, are you here by yourself?" I told her my husband was out of town.

For a moment I had to think why she was even asking that.
We go everywhere together.

A few minutes later another woman approached me to ask some of the same questions, this time to say "God bless you."

When I got in the Bus I took a moment to thank Jesus for those two messengers from him. To me they were saying you are doing a good job. I so needed to hear that to keep going with joy in my heart. You would think at fifty three, tons of kids raised, I wouldn't need to hear that, but oh how I do.

And my blessed Savior knew that.

Many times people are just critical. They are upset that I would take so many children into a store, even if they are well behaved. I feel like we are special needs sometimes... wanting to cry out "We have a right to be here too." But I don't, because through our family they need to see the blessings of adoption and the
love of Christ, and it starts with me.

So off we went to the Christian book store. It is huge, people are kind, and we have a wonderful time.

Can I be faithful in the small things?

Dani loving on new baby.

Friend giving the kid instruction on raising goats.
Moyou with new baby.

When we moved to Texas we had really big plans. Immediately we were going to plan a

garden, build a chicken house, build pens for goats, pigs and a cow. That is of course only

the yard plans. We moved to a smaller home than we had in California, so we had already

discussed how we would build on and re-model.

Then reality stuck! Ron was working a lot less than he had in the past. The house we

bought had many things that needed repair (like heating) and we were without dryers.

And the more practical reasons... where is the time to do any of that??? With 18 kids,

homeschooling, meals, chores.....and my involvment with helping Africa...

So I know for me, I had to take a huge step back. All of these huge dreams were just going

to have to be done one baby step at a time. I wanted to move mountains, see really huge

accomplishments but were those MY PLANS OR GODS?

I read a post yesterday about missionary family that picked up and moved there 11 kids to

Liberia to live and work. In a small way it made me think about our move to Texas.

Greg talks about the BIG plans they had to change Liberia... and now they know that

it isn't their plans, but the Lords, one baby step at a time.

I've always been the kind of person who believes all things are possible. Let's assume it's because I'm young, not naïve (it will make me feel better that way!). But whatever the reason, whatever it is, I've always believed I can find a way to get things done. For most of our marriage, life has seemed to come easily for Vanessa and me. We married young and quickly moved beyond most of our friends' and relatives' expectations. We were deeply in love, best of friends with a family people seemed to admire. We had no business experience, but we launched a business and it did well. We were always careful to give back into the Kingdom and God blessed us more than we could have expected. For those on the outside looking in, things seemed to come easily for us.

Then a few years ago we made the decision to adopt. We were sure we could apply the same principles we had applied with our other children and we would all live happily ever after. That's not the way it happened. It has been much harder than we expected and we soon learned that even our best wasn't good enough.

About this same time our business that had been doing so well began to show signs of trouble. The economy was coming unglued. The industry I worked in was in the beginning stages of decline, and the competition was feeling the same pressures. As we went to God for answers I realized that while I talked about trusting God, I had become pretty self dependent. I believed God cared and that he was intimately involved in my life. I believed that I could go to Him with any need I had. But because things had come so easily for us, I hadn't really developed a dependent relationship on God.

Now when I needed Him the most I was finding it hard to get close to Him. It's easy to say we trust in God, but do we really? Often it's more talk than reality. Our trust is structured by the rules and expectations we set in our own lives. Many times these rules don't even necessarily coincide with scripture, but they make us feel safe.

The question is, "Does your commitment match your talk?" Are you committed to a truly biblical relationship with Christ?

It is easy, especially in America, to get caught up in the day to day grind and just go through the motions. Up in the morning, get dressed, grab a quick cup of coffee, run through a few Bible verses (hopefully), leave to work, do the eight hours, come home, spend a few minutes with family (often too few), surf the channels or the web for awhile, head to bed, and start the same routine the next morning. But for too many of us the spiritual gets squeezed out in the routine of the secular. That vital relationship with Christ suffers.

What has happened that glorifies God in our lives? What have we done to reach others with the saving knowledge of Christ? When Vanessa and I started Spirit Liberia, we had a Big vision filled with Big projects.That "Bogdan" tendency to believe there was no project too big had kicked in. We were going to build Churches, hold mega conferences, start mega farms, and in general turn Liberia upside for Christ; if not in a day, surely a week. It was a grand idea that didn't work.

Why? Well first, I think we were too focused on the task. We needed to learn to trust God rather than ourselves, or others, and genuinely follow His calling on our lives; no matter what the cost. And we needed to really know the mission field and the people God had called us to reach. So we took a step back and decided to take the time to know the mission field to which He had called us.

We dug in. We began building relationships with our Liberian missions' team - the people God has called us to train and equip. We wanted to get to know who they were .... How they live.... What makes them function so well in a society devastated physically and emotionally by war ....wrecked by disease and steeped in spiritism and other spiritual difficulties? And we are learning that the answer is faith. It is all about faith. The more we get to know our missions team and other Christians in Liberia, the more we learn how desperately they love the Lord. And the wonderful thing is this love is contagious and it is rubbing off on us! We wanted it and most of all, we needed it.

We have come to understand that rather than focusing on the big tasks that draw more attention, God wanted us to start with the people that He had called us to reach ...His people. These people are not just pictures to be sent to constituents for fund raising, they are not just part of a task ... they are the people Christ died for ... the people He loves and that He has called us to love and live with. There are ways we can help them and there are things we can teach them, but they can also help us and teach us. God has shown us these people are to be our family...our lives...and our ministry. We don't have to figure out the big picture. We have to be faithful in the small things and He will bring about the bigger things. We change a nation by starting with a person.

Charles Spurgeon said it this way, "One good deed is of far more worth than a thousand brilliant theories. Let us not wait for large opportunities for a different kind of work, but just do the things we 'find to do' day by day." We can do this! We can live with the people of Liberia, learn to understand their culture, their needs, their desires ... and then discover ways to bless them one blessing at a time.

I find myself thinking of this family often. Could we, with 18 children move to Liberia if the

Lord called us there? How much faith would that take? I kow how much faith it takes

just to get ready for a trip to Liberia in April. Trying to raise plane fare, collect donations,

make sure we have enough money to help with the unexpected.

I remember trying to go to Liberia in December. Our cars went out, my back went out,

we had a serious lack of funds, and I battled a huge brain fog in whatever I tried to do.

Now that is just warfare for one trip... imagine what this family is facing on a daily basis.

But the Lord promises “Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalms 55:22 NKJV)

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

These are only two verses that PROMISES GOD is faithful. If he has called us to a task

he will be there, period!

So I rest in you Lord. That our little mini farm will prosper and grow as you provice the

increase.

That I will get to Liberia this April, that all of our sweet Liberian babies so desperately

in need of homes and help, will be surrounded by YOUR love and presence. And we will

accomplish all things that YOU give us the power to do.

And if you call us to do more...

Everybody getting silly

Worship he lifts me up I get down.....kids going for it.

Kids worshipping at home.

We started back with worship and bible study today. I have slowly, so very slowly,

stopped doing worship and bible study in the mornings since we moved to Texas.

I would use the excuse in my head that I had so many things to do... and I reasoned,

I was still having my own devotions.....

But the spirit of God was gently tapping on my spirit saying "this is the heart of what we

are doing Tanya, teaching the children about me, leading them closer to my spirt."

Then someone I was praying for needing encouragment homeschooling a difficult child

and I said "the academics would come, but teaching our children about Jesus... that had to be

now, every minute."

I was ministring to my own spirit at the time.

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16.26

This is the reason we homeschool. Because everything in the world can be learned... in the future,

when they have their spirtual legs, but now it is their souls that need tending to.

Yes we do academics. But Jesus is the main subject!

This is the song we sang today in Worship. I cried throught the whole thing.

STRONG TOWER

When I wonder through the desert And I’m longing for my home All my dreams have gone astray.When I’m stranded in the valley And I’m tired and all aloneIt seems like I’ve lost my way I go running to your mountain.Where your mercy sets me free

You are my strong tower Shelter over me, beautiful and mighty, everlasting kingYou are my strong towerFortress when I’m week

Your name is true and holyAnd your face all I seeYour face is all I see

In the middle of my darknessIn the midst of all my fearYou’re my refuge and my hopeWhen the storm of life is raging And the thunders all I hearYou speak softly to my soul

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYS!

Forgot candles, daddy brings matches..smart guy.

Ben and that mischievous boy look.

Ben and his Bumble Bee car.

Richard. Love it when they want learning toys.

Today we celebrated Ben's (age 5) and Richard (age 10) birthday. So hard to believe that Ben is five...
It seemed like it was just yesterday that I picked him up from a Liberian orphanage. He is still so down to earth with his requests for life, a bumblebee car was all he wanted. His eyes just lit up when he opened the package with a bumblebee car!
Now Richard, he takes getting presents a little more serious. He had already showed me what he wanted when we went shopping last week. He gave me several selections..
Richard even though small in size is big in life! He knows what he wants, leads wherever he goes and is sure to succeed in whatever he does. I would of never guessed that the little African American. shy 18 month old boy, they brought us from foster care would have been so full of life.

Just another testimony to the GOODNESS OF GOD!


Before I started working with Africa I volunteered to work with an organization who had an orphanage in Haiti. I collected donations, did sponsorship coordination and fell in love with the country and it's children.
It branched off into trying to help special needs kids and a boys home that was destitute.
I traveled with answered prayers to Haiti and although I spend a lot of time crying (and sweating) I loved every minute of it. And not surprisingly, fell in love with a little two year old with Hep. C there.

I was so sure God was calling us to adopt her and called my husband to see if he would agree. He immediately said yes and we started the process.

Adopting from Haiti is not a easy or cheap task. The Dossier is very involved and expensive. Phychiatric evalutations, everything has to be translated into French and the list goes on. After spending hundreds of dollars, tons of time, my husband said he felt God was now saying no.
If you have ever had a child already placed in your heart and then had it ripped out you know the pain it causes.

I felt like I had a miscarrage.

The stubborn woman that I am I refused to accept it. I KNEW he had to be wrong, God never would of said that. I prayed, I begged God to help, went to my pastor for support, surely he would see this wasn't from God.

Then one morning in my devotional God spoke to me, will you sacrifice this child to me, your wants, as I asked Abraham to sacrifice issiac on the altar? You know that voice in you that KNOWS God is speaking, but like a rebelous child you don't want to hear?

Genesis 22:1-19In this eighth encounter with the voice of God, Abraham's faith is put to the test. Seemingly, God tells Abraham to do the unthinkable by sacrificing Isaac, the child of divine promise. Amazingly, Abraham wastes no time and departs with Isaac the very next morning.

I didn't even have time to ponder my disobedience when I got a e-mail, from a complete stranger that said "Tanya, I feel the Lord is telling you that there is something in you life you have to lay down as Abraham had to lay Issiac down at the altar."

Then I broke..... it was God speaking and I just refused to listen. How I cried out to God for forgiveness.
I hurt my husband and God by refusing to listen, but putting my own wants before his.

I know now that God was calling me out of Haiti and to Liberia Africa. He had four precious jewels waiting for us there. All the things I had learned in Haiti God would be using to DO HIS ministry in Africa.

Sometimes we never know why God says no. Trusting that he just has a plan to prosper us and not harm us. Oh how I pray I can always hear the voice of God when he speaks. That my needs never outweigh his commands.

NEWS FROM HAITI, THE ORGANIZTIONS I WAS INVOLVED IN.

Dear Friends,

We have amazing news! All 54 US-bound chldren that were in our care at the orphanages have flown out of Haiti and are in the United States. We are so grateful to them many wonderful people who made this possible. Thank you to the wonderful Diana Boni for her incredible efforts that set these children free, both in the last few days and in many years previously. Thank you to Jamie and Ali for their wonderful work on the ground, and for refusing to lift off without every one of our kids. And thank you to every one of you, for praying and supporting and making these efforts possible.
We will be in touch in the coming weeks to let you know where we will head from here, there are many newly orphaned children and much work to be done.

Thank you friends,
Answered Prayers

Child Hope international.... great organization.

http://www.childhope.org/about/earthquake.html

CHILDREN THAT NEED SPONSORS AND ADOPTIVE HOMES!

This is Abigail. She has failure to thrive

and some feeding issues.

We continue to be desperately in need of sponsors for our special need children in Liberia Africa. Posted is just one of the children we need help for.
I know that when we started this project in Liberia we had a whole different set of plans. We were going to open up a orphanage for special needs children. Caregivers would come in during the day and another set at night. It just seemed that no matter how we tried to get the doors open they would always close. I knew that God had formed this alliance of women who's hearts were with the homeless and hurting children in Liberia, why couldn't we get the doors open?



God was saying No I have another plan... a so much better plan. I want to place my children in foster homes with mothers who have no jobs, food or a way to care for themselves. I want to teach the people of Liberia to love handicapped children and that their disabilieies is not a curse, I love them as I love you. I want these children to be held and loved by the same person every day.... not to have to look at different faces.
Yes, it was Gods true desire to have Liberians fostering Liberian special needs children so they could see the life changing miracles that can happen when love is present. And oh if they could just see the Love of Jesus in these small precious eyes everyday.

Now can we see how much Jesus loves these precious ones? Are they worth saving to the American world?
For one hundred dollars a month one child can be saved. Can we give up starbucks, a lunch or two, a new outfit? So little for Americans. Oh Jesus let us see your heart for these little ones.


Luke 21:1-4 1 And he looked up, and saw the rich men that were casting their gifts into the treasury. 2 And he saw a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. 3 And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, This poor widow cast in more than they all: 4 for all these did of their superfluity cast in unto the gifts; but she of her want did cast in all the living that she had.
The Jews were instructed to give to the Temple and to the poor as part of their service to God. (So are we). One day Jesus sat at the Temple and watched people putting money into the offering boxes. Some people were rich and gave lots of money. Some gave money, but were unhappy about it. Then an poor woman, a widow, came up to the boxes.The poor woman put two of the smallest coins there were in the offering box. The disciples with Jesus weren't very impressed, but Jesus said this woman has given more than any other today. How could that be? Jesus said it was because it was all she had. How did the woman think she would buy dinner that night? She trusted in God to provide for her. She obeyed God's command, knowing that He would fulfill His promise to care for her in return. We must trust God the same way. Matt 6:33 says: "Seek first the kingdom of God and Hid righteousness and all these things (food, clothes, etc) will be added unto you."

Yeawee

Sherman

I am feeling so incredibly loved by Jesus.
Last night my 10 yr. old son with Asthma started coughing. The weather is really cold, he has had a cold and I just knew his Asthma was acting up. I pulled out the inhaler and gave him a puff before he went to bed hoping that was the end of it. Well a couple of hours later he woke up coughing....ugh! He has a very mild Asthma so we don't have a nebulizer or any other medication right now, if he gets worse so it would mean a ER visit. I just called out to God to heal him and let him sleep the rest of the night.

RIGHT AWAY he stopped coughing and started sleeping peacefully.

I LOVE THOSE IMMEADIATE ANSWERS TO PRAYER!!!

Of course I love the ones that take a while too. I thought how many times I pray knowing God can heal, move, direct, but do I REALLY believe it? I have had LOTS of answers to prayer, direction given to me by
God, and yet I still hold a bit of unbelief in my heart.

I read a book recently Always Enough: God's Miraculous Provision among the Poorest Children on Earth
by Heidi Baker. This one amazing woman! One of the things that amazed me the most was that when she led people (Africans) to the Lord she let them believe that Jesus could do anything... and guess what?
He did!
They would pray over people that were dead for hours and many were raised from dead. I am sure they thought Jesus did it why couldn't they? He raised Lazarus didn't he?

My second answer to prayer came in the form of a new therapist my son is seeing. When we made the decision that he needed to talk to someone, we felt such discouragement in our hearts. In California we had such a hard time finding someone experienced and full of the Love of Christ ... and might I add one we could afford. I asked our pastor for a recommendation and a local foster parent organization and the both pointed us in one direction. One of them mentioning a therapist by name. When I called to make the appointment the Secretary was so full of joy and happy to tell me they all served the Lord! Wow!!!
I didn't ask for anyone by name but they gave me the name of the therapist they recommended.
One visit and I was so impressed with his knowledge and his love for God.
Thank you Lord for giving me these answerers to prayer ,which in my heart, I see as your never ending, faithful, fatherly nuggets of love.


Matthew 17:19-21
19Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"
20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Liberia Trip in April all welcome!!

Come see us in Liberia!
Liberia-Africa

Global Orphan Outreach is planning a spring mission trip. Travel date is tentatively the week of April 7th, 2010.

This trip is for those who are interested in becoming more involved in some capacity with one of our special projects and want to see and experience first hand for themselves- Liberia and the needs of its people.

We will be visiting Forget-Me-Not Children’s Homes and its special children, fixing up and decorating some of the foster homes, visiting a University as well as building handicap ramps on campus, hold some work shops, touring Monrovia and the Bong Cty area, taking foster families out for a “day at the beach” including enjoying a Liberian style meal of chicken and rice with them. We hope to tour some hospitals, a feeding center, check out the caustic prevention/education project progress as well as taking time to drive through the 1 million acres of Firestone. There also will be plenty of free time for personal time; spending it however you wish.

Price for airfare, transportation as a group, 6 nights accommodations (air conditioned), food, and $100 donation towards the FMN program while in Liberia will be $2600. (Funds for snacks or
If you are interested in traveling with us or want more information about this exciting trip; please contact Christina Hoffman #651-353-5248 or Donna Barber #715-415-4401