Sweet little Mardea came to us by recommendation from a hospital where Mardea was abandoned. She is a tiny little girl with many health issues. We were happy to be her family if only for a short time and give her the love and support she deserves. Little Mardea passed away early this morning from complications while staying in the hospital for recent care. She will be very much missed by her foster family and her FMN families.


This was posted by one of our directors today as we all grieve the loss of this little girl. Tomorrow we leave for Liberia Africa with a heavy heart.

There is so much we didn't know about this little angel, she was with us such a short time. But this we do know, she was loved and adored by us even if it was for a short time. Prayers covered her life while she was a Forget-Me-Not child and we will
rest in the fact that she is in the arms of Jesus, forever healed and adored.

If you are reading this blog please pray for all of us that are heading to Liberia
Africa tomorrow. Our hearts are with the children and we want to see them receive the best care possible. We also want the goverment to see that special needs children are precious and should be valued. But first and foremost we want to
serve the King of Kings in this ministry, and hear his voice when he speaks.


We know that for those who belong to Christ, Heaven is their immediate destination after death. To the thief on the cross, Jesus said, "Today you shall be with me in Paradise" (Luke 23:43).

Mardea, we will look for you in paradise.

Going to Liberia

Please Pray for Karin,Madea,Korpru and Little Mr. Brown.







In about two weeks several womena and I will be leaving for Liberia Africa. There are the many details to take care of, plane tickets, supplies, shots, visa's, but I find the hardest part of getting ready is mentally preparing
to see the precious children we are caring for.


Up till now, I have had a long distance relationship with them. I see their pictures, send support, try to get medical care for them, manage sponsorship, and read reports on their care. But I know that when I see the children , hold them, pray over them, everything will change. It is like having a pen pal, someone you fell in love with by e-mail and letters, but now the day has come to meet and see if we want to spend the rest of our life together.


I know my life is going to change.... forever.

Being involved in a ministry as large as taking in special need orphans makes me feel so small, so dependent on God. I have to totally, on a daily basis release all of this to God.

A child is in the hospital who is still malnourished even after being in care... feeding problems?

We desperately need care for a child with severe hydrocephalus and it is taking forever to get it.

So many more children need our help and care but we need to get more sponsors.

A child needs to be moved into our care but we can't get the paperwork moving.

And all of us involved in this ministry have large families, many obligations and have to touch DAILY the hem of his garment to keep going.




Luke 8:40-49

[40] Now when Jesus returned, a crowd welcomed him, for they were all expecting him. [41] Then a man named Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, came and fell at Jesus' feet, pleading with him to come to his house [42] because his only daughter, a girl of about twelve, was dying.

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. [43] And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. [44] She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

[45] "Who touched me?" Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."

[46] But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."

[47] Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. [48] Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."


Jesus promises that when I am weak he is strong. He promises.



So in HIS strength we will go to Liberia and fight for the lives of "our kids." Against all odds we will try to
convince the people of Liberia that special needs children are precious in the eyes of the Lord. That a disability is NOT a curse and they have so much to give, but need help. That there are people in the United States wanting to adopt these precious ones.... please open up adoptions.


And we will cry, hurt and press forward because JESUS has laid this on our hearts so strongly that we cannot give up.


5 but he said to me, 6 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.

Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 7 2 Corinthians 12

In you Jesus... yes, only in you.

We can control what we think?

Kids treating our pot belly like a baby







Conner a warrior for Christ






New chickens and ducks





Richard







Anna gettin her hair done











Yeawee with a new hairdo

Mary getting her hair done





Nothing like trying to stuff all of your blog thoughts into one blog! It is
so easy to procrastinate on blogging but like all things, you pay the price
when you try to cram it all in.


Last week my three little girls had their hair done. It was really difficult
finding a place that would accept our family (multiracial) into their
shop. I am afraid that I live in a "love your neighbor as yourself" mindset
and have a severe blow to my senses when we are not accepted
in the African American world. But I reasoned if I got angry about it, what
difference am I am I making in a hurtful world? How will I help bridge the
the gap and instill the hope that is only through Jesus our Savior?

NONE.

So I just prayed. And a faithful Savior sent me a Godly woman to do the girls
hair. Because irregardless of race, we share a different hope, the loving power
of a living God!

I was just in awe of her ability to braid the girls hair almost without even
thinking or looking. I so wished I had that ability, but there is no way to
make up for years of cultural training. We can do everything in our ability
to make up for what our children loose by being adopted transracially, but we
do not make up for that. But I so want to shout to the cultural world "WHAT
ARE THE OPTIONS." Sure it is best that children be adopted into the same racial
culture, but there just isn't enough adoptive homes, and for whatever reason
even fewer African Amercian homes. So.... children linger in foster homes or
starve to death in foreign countries or become so damaged by orphanages they
cannot function in life.

So I will just love my way through it. Teach my children the realities of life,
but also teach them through Jesus we have to power to overcome the pain of sin.
And believe that Jesus will send me some of his children to help.....

John 13:34 - A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.


Yesterday I went to the video store to try to find something we could watch.
It is becoming so difficult. I decided to rent a DVD by Joyce Meyers, "Battlefield
of the mind." I had seen the book on many occasions but didn't feel it had
anything to offer me. WAS I WRONG! I am going to memorize this DVD, buy the
book, download the audio to my ipod. Some things are just life changing.

Why is it that something so simple can mean so much. Like we can CHOOSE what we
think. We do not have to let Satan torture us with the things we don't do
but can continually rejoice in the things we do that are right. That ALL the
weapons to fight this warfare are contained in one book, the BIBLE, and it
is ours for the memorizing.


2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (New International Version)
3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

So when those thoughts come today that do not line up with the word of GOD
they gotta go! Every thought will be taken to the obedience of Christ.

Thank you Lord for the reminder!

A Hug from God

Varney with his mother in Africa.


A couple of months ago I was surfing the web and came
across a neurosurgeon who had perfected a new
treatment for (water on the brain) hydrocephalus.
I immediately wrote him about a little boy we
were trying to help in Liberia Africa. The doctor
in Liberia said he could not be helped, but I just
refused to believe that.
The neurosurgeon in the U.S. responded that he would
love to see Varney, but it might be a better option to see a
a doctor he had trained in Ghana Africa, only two
hours from Liberia.
He agreed to e-mail this doctor and get back to me.

I waited two weeks with no response. I tried to be patient because I knew that African countries usually moved a lot slower than America, but I felt this pressing
need in my spirit to keep pushing forward.

I e-mailed the U. S. doctor again and he said that he was sorry, maybe I needed to see another doctor he had trained in another African country.

It had been a really long week, doctor appointments, tons of paperwork, shopping…..
I tried to think in my mind how to proceed. My tired brain just couldn’t focus… I felt helpless…

So, I cried. Deep sobbing, pleading crys. Crying out to God
for help. How can I help this little boy Lord? Why are
the doors closing? I know that the God who created this whole entire universe can open any doors he chooses, please God open this one.

And I left it at that.

The next morning I checked my e-mail and the U.S. doctor had written back. He e-mailed the doctor in Ghana again and he said he had tried to e-mail me,
there must have been problem. He was willing to see
Varney!
I was so excited! It was like a big HUGE hug from God.

At that moment I knew God had heard my cries for help. He wrapped his arms around me and said “Tanya, I am here, I am blessings this ministry and these children, don’t give up.”

I so needed to hear his voice. To know that my efforts were backed by the power of a mighty living God.

So I move forward, writing the doctor in Ghana again
to see if his hospital will provide free care and we can
make a scheduled time to bring Varney to Ghana.
Now, with new confidence, that Jesus is doing the work and I am just his earthy instrument following his commands.



So if you are reading this blog please PRAY for Varney,
That we can get him medical help soon and all the doors
for his treatment will be opened.

Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world!!!

New children and more birthdays

Anthony and Omar Birthday
Melvin three
Korpu three
Korpu three
Korpu at her orphanage








These two angels have failure to thrive. It is amazing to me that EVERY child in an orphanage, foster home or abadoned doesn't have FTT. How does a child, especially a young child, find the will to keep
going when they feel unloved, many times go without food, and live in deplorable conditions. Some miracle
just keep some kids pushing on.... hoping that someday they will be cherished. For these two children (and
many others) we will just have to convince them they are loved, by us, their caregivers and most of all by God.

Also praying constantly that adoptions would open back up in Liberia. I would so love to see our Forget me not children find adoptive homes. The program provides so much for these little ones, but it still can't replace the care and opportunities in the US.

Omar and Anthony celebrated birthdays today. I asked them if they wanted to pick out their own presents and they said Yes, so off to Target we went. They were so excited. CeCe one of my older daughters made cupcakes and we all sang happy birthday. It wasn't much but they were happy and content.
Funny just a few years ago (before we had so many kids) we had chuck e cheese, skating and jump house birthdays. I felt really bad when we had to trim birthdays way down because of expenses but the bottom line is that is hasn't changed anything. They are as happy and content with cake, candles, presents and all the family make a huge celebration of another year of their
precious lives.


We all have the ability to be content with so little and yet it is so hard. I believe God is trying to teach me to REALLY trust him for all things. That each morsel that comes into my mouth, for each piece of clothing on my back and for each step I walk into the future.








Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13 (New Living Translation)

A typical shopping day

For several days the weather has been so bad that we couldn't hop in our bus and drive to town.
Simple things like needing milk, is not so simple when you have 18 kids and your husband is out
of town.
With the roads being icy I just didn't want to chance driving our bus to town so we stayed put, but oh how I needed to get out! I spend a few days just feeling claustrophobic in my own home.
I was irritable and grouchy, and just feeling like lousy mother of the year. I could rationalize that

I knew it would pass .... but I still hated being in that place.
So today I loaded up the bus and took off to town. Now Saturday is not the best time to go shopping with 18 kids... but I was feeling little desperate.
First we stopped at the day old breadstore. We got a HUGE bucket of all kinds of bread for forty dollars. We formed a assembly line and loaded it in the bus. Thekids were real excited with all the donuts.

Our next stop was Sams club. We have a system. Everyone has a partner they are responsiblefor, they all stay behind me and the basket, and everyone had to stay to one side of the isle.

It all went perfectly, so we all sat down for a hot dog. I dread ordering food for our group. Never fails whoever is waiting on us gives me that look like "what could you possibly want with 19 hot dogs", but I push forward and try to ignore them. Many times at McDonalds or Taco Bell the say "could you please call first?"

My kids were picture perfect . They all sat down and patiently waited for there food. When they got there drinks they knew they had to go in fours and waited for their table to be called. They were quiet (praise God) and polite. I kept running back and for the to get napkins, relish, and check to see if the hot dogs were ready.

One woman approached me and said "Where are you from?" I knew
from experience what she was asking, and I said we lived in Abilene and these were my adopted children. I know now to cut to the chase and just let them know we are an adoptive family. With so many the same age, multiracial, I think they know already. She said "You have amazingly well behaved children, are you here by yourself?" I told her my husband was out of town.

For a moment I had to think why she was even asking that.
We go everywhere together.

A few minutes later another woman approached me to ask some of the same questions, this time to say "God bless you."

When I got in the Bus I took a moment to thank Jesus for those two messengers from him. To me they were saying you are doing a good job. I so needed to hear that to keep going with joy in my heart. You would think at fifty three, tons of kids raised, I wouldn't need to hear that, but oh how I do.

And my blessed Savior knew that.

Many times people are just critical. They are upset that I would take so many children into a store, even if they are well behaved. I feel like we are special needs sometimes... wanting to cry out "We have a right to be here too." But I don't, because through our family they need to see the blessings of adoption and the
love of Christ, and it starts with me.

So off we went to the Christian book store. It is huge, people are kind, and we have a wonderful time.

Can I be faithful in the small things?

Dani loving on new baby.

Friend giving the kid instruction on raising goats.
Moyou with new baby.

When we moved to Texas we had really big plans. Immediately we were going to plan a

garden, build a chicken house, build pens for goats, pigs and a cow. That is of course only

the yard plans. We moved to a smaller home than we had in California, so we had already

discussed how we would build on and re-model.

Then reality stuck! Ron was working a lot less than he had in the past. The house we

bought had many things that needed repair (like heating) and we were without dryers.

And the more practical reasons... where is the time to do any of that??? With 18 kids,

homeschooling, meals, chores.....and my involvment with helping Africa...

So I know for me, I had to take a huge step back. All of these huge dreams were just going

to have to be done one baby step at a time. I wanted to move mountains, see really huge

accomplishments but were those MY PLANS OR GODS?

I read a post yesterday about missionary family that picked up and moved there 11 kids to

Liberia to live and work. In a small way it made me think about our move to Texas.

Greg talks about the BIG plans they had to change Liberia... and now they know that

it isn't their plans, but the Lords, one baby step at a time.

I've always been the kind of person who believes all things are possible. Let's assume it's because I'm young, not naïve (it will make me feel better that way!). But whatever the reason, whatever it is, I've always believed I can find a way to get things done. For most of our marriage, life has seemed to come easily for Vanessa and me. We married young and quickly moved beyond most of our friends' and relatives' expectations. We were deeply in love, best of friends with a family people seemed to admire. We had no business experience, but we launched a business and it did well. We were always careful to give back into the Kingdom and God blessed us more than we could have expected. For those on the outside looking in, things seemed to come easily for us.

Then a few years ago we made the decision to adopt. We were sure we could apply the same principles we had applied with our other children and we would all live happily ever after. That's not the way it happened. It has been much harder than we expected and we soon learned that even our best wasn't good enough.

About this same time our business that had been doing so well began to show signs of trouble. The economy was coming unglued. The industry I worked in was in the beginning stages of decline, and the competition was feeling the same pressures. As we went to God for answers I realized that while I talked about trusting God, I had become pretty self dependent. I believed God cared and that he was intimately involved in my life. I believed that I could go to Him with any need I had. But because things had come so easily for us, I hadn't really developed a dependent relationship on God.

Now when I needed Him the most I was finding it hard to get close to Him. It's easy to say we trust in God, but do we really? Often it's more talk than reality. Our trust is structured by the rules and expectations we set in our own lives. Many times these rules don't even necessarily coincide with scripture, but they make us feel safe.

The question is, "Does your commitment match your talk?" Are you committed to a truly biblical relationship with Christ?

It is easy, especially in America, to get caught up in the day to day grind and just go through the motions. Up in the morning, get dressed, grab a quick cup of coffee, run through a few Bible verses (hopefully), leave to work, do the eight hours, come home, spend a few minutes with family (often too few), surf the channels or the web for awhile, head to bed, and start the same routine the next morning. But for too many of us the spiritual gets squeezed out in the routine of the secular. That vital relationship with Christ suffers.

What has happened that glorifies God in our lives? What have we done to reach others with the saving knowledge of Christ? When Vanessa and I started Spirit Liberia, we had a Big vision filled with Big projects.That "Bogdan" tendency to believe there was no project too big had kicked in. We were going to build Churches, hold mega conferences, start mega farms, and in general turn Liberia upside for Christ; if not in a day, surely a week. It was a grand idea that didn't work.

Why? Well first, I think we were too focused on the task. We needed to learn to trust God rather than ourselves, or others, and genuinely follow His calling on our lives; no matter what the cost. And we needed to really know the mission field and the people God had called us to reach. So we took a step back and decided to take the time to know the mission field to which He had called us.

We dug in. We began building relationships with our Liberian missions' team - the people God has called us to train and equip. We wanted to get to know who they were .... How they live.... What makes them function so well in a society devastated physically and emotionally by war ....wrecked by disease and steeped in spiritism and other spiritual difficulties? And we are learning that the answer is faith. It is all about faith. The more we get to know our missions team and other Christians in Liberia, the more we learn how desperately they love the Lord. And the wonderful thing is this love is contagious and it is rubbing off on us! We wanted it and most of all, we needed it.

We have come to understand that rather than focusing on the big tasks that draw more attention, God wanted us to start with the people that He had called us to reach ...His people. These people are not just pictures to be sent to constituents for fund raising, they are not just part of a task ... they are the people Christ died for ... the people He loves and that He has called us to love and live with. There are ways we can help them and there are things we can teach them, but they can also help us and teach us. God has shown us these people are to be our family...our lives...and our ministry. We don't have to figure out the big picture. We have to be faithful in the small things and He will bring about the bigger things. We change a nation by starting with a person.

Charles Spurgeon said it this way, "One good deed is of far more worth than a thousand brilliant theories. Let us not wait for large opportunities for a different kind of work, but just do the things we 'find to do' day by day." We can do this! We can live with the people of Liberia, learn to understand their culture, their needs, their desires ... and then discover ways to bless them one blessing at a time.

I find myself thinking of this family often. Could we, with 18 children move to Liberia if the

Lord called us there? How much faith would that take? I kow how much faith it takes

just to get ready for a trip to Liberia in April. Trying to raise plane fare, collect donations,

make sure we have enough money to help with the unexpected.

I remember trying to go to Liberia in December. Our cars went out, my back went out,

we had a serious lack of funds, and I battled a huge brain fog in whatever I tried to do.

Now that is just warfare for one trip... imagine what this family is facing on a daily basis.

But the Lord promises “Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalms 55:22 NKJV)

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

These are only two verses that PROMISES GOD is faithful. If he has called us to a task

he will be there, period!

So I rest in you Lord. That our little mini farm will prosper and grow as you provice the

increase.

That I will get to Liberia this April, that all of our sweet Liberian babies so desperately

in need of homes and help, will be surrounded by YOUR love and presence. And we will

accomplish all things that YOU give us the power to do.

And if you call us to do more...